![]() They’re called ‘man hours’ because a woman would have that shit done in 20 minutes!Ģ9. “Just because 1 g I’m awake doesn’t mean I am functioning at full capacity.”Ģ8. “If a woman speaks and no one is listening, her name is probably mom.”Ģ7. So I could slap eight people at on sc”Ģ6. “Did you know “diet” stands for: did I eat that?”Ģ4. ![]() “My kids’ faces when I ask them if they did their chores pinis”Ģ2. ![]() Somedays I just don’t have enough middle fingers to go around.Ģ1. “Love is… Not having to hold your farts in anymoscontrol some days I just don’t have enough middle fingers to go around!!!”Ģ0. “If I give you a straw will you go suck the fun out of someone else’s day?”ġ9. “There’s no better feeling than going to bed at night and not having to set an alarm for tomorrow morning.”ġ8. “Wouldn’t it be so great if we could put ourselves in the dryer for 10 minutes and come out wrinkle free… And three sizes smaller?”ġ6. Decisions will be made using the eenie-meenie minie-moe method and arguments will be settled by sticking out my tongue. “I love my six-pack so much, I protect it layer of fat.”ġ4. “I’m not fat, god gave me airbags cause I’m precious.”ġ3. “Sarcasm: the ability to insult idiots 아 -10 without them realizing it.”ġ2. “My doctor asked if any members of my family suffered from insanity… I said nope, we all seem to enjoy it!!”ġ1. “A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness and a friend like me… Well… That’s a sign of good taste.
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